On His Birthday

its been long time since i wrote the last diary,,, many things have happened and just time has passed as usual.
i feel lots in such life.
but i dont put them here for now^^ well, someday, if i want, i will.

so, 17 July is the birthday of my brother. its still unbelievable for me that he is already 15 years old now,,, and i will be 22 this year, which is coming soon!

and now about one and a half months have left before leaving japan, ive been busy with stuffs for preparing for one year studying abroad, which is the first-time experience for me. yeah, many complicated things, annoying things, and things really bothersome for me in the process (mostly because of my complicated background, and im already tired of it, i know i can help nothing though).
but i really feel this experience will have a great importance for me, my next steps or even my future i would say.
well, for friends of mine who are going to study abroad, this one year which starts from this Sep will be a great experience as well, but for most of them it will be just "one year ex-ordinal experience" and thats it. they will come back to japan and start looking for a job in japan while keeping their experience in their mind as a beatiful memory and work. so, the experience just turns into one of memories for them. i feel like its the normal step for ppl in japan (well, having the experience of studyng abroad is not nomal but its gradually becoming more and more nomal for the young i think...) , and I, im not sure if i will go that way,,, well, it depends on this studying abroad.
for those reasons i feel kinda pressure or nervousness about coming days, cause everyting depends on the coming days and nothing's clear for now. i have a kinda vague idea but i still cant see clearly what will happen to me, which way i choose after i complete the study, or maybe these are the biggest---if i can do things well there and if i can make this coming experience as the OPPORTUNITY which can lead me to the next.
with those feelings and other feelings such as excitement toward the new places ive never been to before and ppl ive never seen before (yeah seeing new ppl from different places, its so FANTASTIC!) i, currently, spend the rest of time in osaka, japan,,,yes, with very mixed feelings, which is hard to explain with the words i know and with the brain i have,,,:)

what its gonna be really,,, well, i will see.